I realize it’s a minor thing amidst the sea of people with much more serious problems, but as someone who has it, it bothers me a lot when people seem to think that ADD is the same as being a ferret on stimulants.
Having ADD isn’t like that at all. You’re not more easily distracted by shiny things, you don’t go chasing after something new with a wide-eyed idiotic glee. That’s not what it is at all. It’s more like a desperate struggle - constantly - to keep your thoughts in order and avoid forgetting something important.
It’s keeping important things like keys and wallets and medication in the same place every day, because otherwise you’ll put them down somewhere and then completely forget where they were. It’s making yourself lists of what you need to do, because otherwise you will completely forget that a task even exists until someone points it out to you. It’s about trying to take a quick break and winding up spending four hours clicking through Wikipedia because your brain has no concept of time as a thing, it just registers “let’s do this” and you’ve got no rudder left.
You’re constantly forgetting things you want to remember, trying to get your thoughts organized. The trouble isn’t that you’re any more easily distracted so much as everything opens up a new rabbit hole, and you don’t know how to climb out of them. It’s how I can spend hours playing a game with laser-like focus only to realize that I never started dinner. Not because I didn’t want to or didn’t care but because I seriously didn’t even remember that I was cooking dinner tonight.
Or, if you want a more immediate example, my wife spent months reminding me to take paperwork to the doctor. I do not live far from my doctor. It’s not inconvenient. I wanted it done. But it would slip out of my mind every time within seconds of talking about it until I finally managed to trick myself into doing it.
The paperwork in question? A survey on ADD symptoms.
I really wish that it was like chasing after a shining dingly bit all the time with wide-eyed fervor. That would be so much more fun.
Sometimes I stare at the computer screen when the words don’t want to come and I think, “Fuck, who am I kidding? This is terrible writing, and this story is shit, and no one cares, anyway.” And I close the window and go do something else.
But every now and then I get an amazing, heartfelt, beautiful comment from someone who loved something I wrote, and it reminds me that, at least for that one person, I did write something worthwhile. And so I open the window again and I write one sentence, and then another, and then I start to find my way again.
So on behalf of all fanfic writers everywhere, I want to say thank you, thank you so much, to all of the readers who take the time to leave a comment and tell us that something we wrote mattered to you, that it brightened your day or made you laugh or cry or get horny or whatever.
Please don’t think we’re ever bothered by your comment, or that we don’t want to hear it, or that what you have to say isn’t important enough. It means so, so much. And on some days, it’s what keeps us going.
infinite-joys asked: Podfic Meme: 3 & 17?
Ah, I alluded to many of the things below in my previous response. Thanks for asking these!
3. How many podfics are on your “to record” list right now? Care to share one of them?
This is an interesting question to which I have two answers.
I only have one actual podfic commitment right now (although I do have another one I asked to record a year ago and just haven’t done yet and really should think about doing), but it’s a LOOOOONG fic. It’s also not in a fandom I’ve ever recorded in before. In fact, I refer to it as “super secret fandom” when referencing it anywhere on my social media, so the thought of recording a podfic and taking the plunge to NOT make the fandom my little secret anymore is still a bit daunting to me. But I love the story and ladybessyboo has convinced me that there is no way I *shouldn’t* record this fic and the author gave me the absolute sweetest podfic permisson response ever, so as soon as it’s no longer too ass hot for me to be in the closet (see #17 below), it’s getting done. Still not sure I want to fess up to what it is, but I suppose it will be out there sooner rather than later, so here’s a link to the fic. I wish you all knew what a terrifying thing it was for me to link that for you. The fic is FANTABULOUS though, so I don’t feel at all bad reccing it to anyone.
So there…now you all know my deepest, darkest fandom secrets.
For the other answer…there are like 15 things in my AO3 bookmarks and other places that I have identified as “to podfic”. I like to believe I’ll get around to recording them and/or asking permissions someday.
17. What does your current recording setup look like?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA recording setup. I say this because I keep changing it up and I don’t feel like I have a “recording setup” so much as an “I’m in this closet with my cell phone setup”.
When I first got into podficcing, I bought a really nice studio condenser microphone. Seriously, I love it. It’s a great microphone. I just never use it.
Okay, so that’s not strictly true. I used it on the first 3 podfics I recorded. I tried to just go in the smallest room in my apt and do it, but there was still too much echo, so I followed the lead of many other podficcers and moved my laptop and portable desk and microphone into the coat closet. Which is great, actually. It’s quieter in there than any of the rest of the places in my apt (because airplanes and road noise and the neighbours dogs and the shower downstairs), and the coats suck up the sound really well. It’s a tight fit, but I can get a table and folding chair in there. Which was great…except that my laptop fan was REALLY LOUD and the beautiful condenser mic picked up every single sound, especially the laptop fan and all mouse movements.
So, I moved out of the laptop/microphone in the coat closet setup to the incredibly high tech setup of enclosing myself in one of our other two closets (usually the closet in the second bedroom/library…idk why I chose that one) and reading the fic from my phone into the built in sound recorder on my phone. This is surprisingly the best setup that I’ve found. It works like a dream. Makes me really glad I spent like $80US on a microphone when I basically just talk into my phone now, but that’s neither here nor there.
In November, I got a tablet and that tablet comes with the ability to install an audio recorder/editor app. Which I did. It also comes with a USB port, so it means I can plug in my condenser mic again (which I have yet to do). I recorded a ton of podfic in December for a podfic exchange just sitting in the closet in the main bedroom and reading from my tablet and the tablet mic picked up everything and it all sounds great.
Next steps… I recently got a new laptop and I don’t think it’s nearly as loud as the previous one, so I want to try the condenser mic with that and also the built in mic with that. I also want to try the condenser mic with the tablet. In all cases, I will remain crammed into one of our three closets, wishing I had some airflow and a more comfortable sitting position.